


Freeze Your Brain

by patentpending



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Flirting, Flirty Deceit Sanders, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Polyamory, Pre-Relationship, Sympathetic Deceit Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-24 21:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19732423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patentpending/pseuds/patentpending
Summary: It's freezing in the mindscape.Luckily, Deceit's cloak is just big enough for all of them.





	Freeze Your Brain

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes, your soul just needs DLAMP shenanigans
> 
> tws: innuendo and suggestive actions. Remus is indirectly mentioned.

“Why is it so cold?” Roman bemoaned, frantically rubbing his arms.

“I don’t know,” Patton chimed in, somehow grinning through chattering teeth, “but I’m about to turn into a-”

“Patton, for the love of Newton, do not.”

 _“-pop_ cicle!”

Logan groaned, letting his head fall back, but just as quickly scrunched back up into a position he assured them “maximized internal body temperature conservation”.

Virgil thought he just looked like he had failed his breakdancing career.

“What is up with this weather, L?” Virgil grumbled, huddling deeper into his hoodie. It wasn’t doing much, but he was still better off than Logan in his short sleeves.

Logan sighed, fighting down a shiver. “It appears Thomas imbibing the branded Slurpee at his local seven dash one one has resulted in a literal brain freeze.”

“I am literally begging you to say Seven-Eleven like a normal person.” Roman hopped on his toes, flexing his numbing fingers.

“Then beg,” Logan said stiffly, breathing hot air over his hands.

“My, my, Logan,” a voice as cool as the air around them purred, “how untoward.”

“Oh, great.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Just when I was thinking my day couldn’t get any worse.”

Deceit appeared on the couch, coiled up and smirking. “Oh, Virgil, you know how I just _love_ to brighten up your day.”

“Then do us all a favor and fu-” - Patton shot him a glare - “-dge off. Fudge off,” Virgil amended.

Roman mimed cracking a whip, and Logan bit back a snort of laughter. Virgil pulled a face at the prince before continuing. “Seriously, Deceit. Get out of here-”

“Wait wait wait wait wait.” Roman held up a hand, frowning. “Hold up.”

“Is that what you want?” Deceit arched an eyebrow.

“The first five ‘ _wait’_ s didn’t tip me off,” he and Virgil snarked in unison. Virgil flushed and shot him a disgruntled glare; Deceit smirked back.

“How are you” - Roman leveled a finger at Deceit - “not freezing right now?”

Logan blinked. Indeed, upon closer inspection, the reptilian side appeared quite comfortable, sprawled out and languid as opposed to the huddled, freezing forms of the other four.

“Nice, thick cloak,” Deceit yawned, stretching casually. “Perfect for staying warm. You should really try it sometime.”

“Alright,” Logan said and went to sit on his lap.

The other sides exploded with varying degrees of shock, and Deceit went stock-still as Logan carefully pulled the edges of the cloak around the two of them. “You were correct,” he said primly, leaning back against Deceit’s warm, broad chest, “this is most preferable.”

Roman stammered unintelligibly, Patton giggled, covering his reddening face with his hands, and Virgil’s mouth dropped open.

Logan looked around at them, blinking. “Is something amiss?”

“Logan,” Virgil hissed, “what are you doing?”

“Remedying an uncomfortable situation,” he explained. “I was cold. Deceit offered a source of warmth. Therefore, I accepted his offer.”

“You do know he was being sarcastic, right, senseless and no sensibility?” Roman arched an eyebrow.

“Oh.” Logan went still for a moment before making to push himself away. “Well, Deceit, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable in any-”

Deceit’s arms snaked around Logan’s waist, holding him in place. “I could hardly bear to ruin your brilliant plans now, Logan.” He smirked at Virgil over the other side’s shoulder. “And I must admit - this is much warmer.”

“So that’s why you came up here!” Virgil narrowed his eyes triumphantly. “To gloat. You and Logan stay toasty while the rest of us freeze, huh?”

Deceit arched an eyebrow. “It’s a large cloak. I’m sure more could fit.”

“Awww,” Patton cooed, “how _ice_ of you!”

“I want a divorce,” Logan groaned, burying his face in Deceit’s shoulder.

“None of us are married, Nerdy Wolverine,” Roman laughed, rumbling.

“Not yet,” Deceit mumbled.

“What?” Virgil blinked at him.

“I said… not het. As in that wouldn’t be heterosexual.” He faked a yawn. “Oh no, the cold is slowing blood flow to my brain.”

“Well,” Roman finally moved, shoving his hands in his pockets and tentatively sidling up to Deceit. “We can’t have that, now can we?”

“Roman!” Virgil hissed, scandalized as Logan shifted over to Deceit’s left side, allowing Roman to settle on Deceit’s right, both half-in, half-out of the caped side’s lap.

“Even better,” Deceit purred as both sides pressed themselves against him, shivers abating.

“By Odin, you're like a furnace,” Roman marveled, nestling into his side.

Deceit hissed in smug contentment, tucking a stray curl behind his ear. “Surely I can't be any hotter than you are.”

Roman flushed, head to toe, and suddenly felt rather warm.

 _“I'm going to kill you,”_ Virgil mouthed.

Deceit blew him a kiss.

“Patton,” Logan said, frowning at the side in question. “Are you quite alright?”

Patton's cardigan was draped around him, instead of its usual perch around his shoulders, but that didn't ward off his goosebumps.

“I always knew I was a _cool_ dad, but this is ridiculous,” he chattered. He kept flexing his fingers, as if he couldn’t quite feel them.

“Too bad there isn’t a simple way to fix that,” Deceit drawled, tilting his head invitingly.

Worry lines appeared at the sides of Patton’s eyes. “Is there enough room?”

“But of course!” Roman winked. “We’d never _frost_ you out, padre.”

“Alright, I'm sold,” Patton chirped. Showing a shocking amount of tact, no one pointed out how little convincing he needed. Whether it was Roman making a pun, Roman, or the fact that he’d get to snuggle three other sides that truly persuaded him was undetermined.

He shuffled underneath Logan, pulling Deceit's cape closer around them. “Oh,” he sighed, “this is nice. Thanks, honey Dee,” he chuckled.

Deceit smoldered down at him, a fanged tooth gleaming against his lower lip. “I have at least ten ulterior motives.” 

Patton flushed and laughed, hiding his face in Logan’s shoulder.

“Patton?!” Virgil gaped at the side with Logan half in his lap, snuggled against Deceit. “Not you too!”

“Come on, tickle me emo.” Roman rolled his eyes. “What’s the problem here?”

“Well, he’s- I- he’s Deceit!” Virgil hissed.

“Yes.” Logan nodded crisply. “And I am Logic, and the cardigan-clad cuddler is Morality, and the idiot prince is Creativity, and the other idiot royalty is also Creativity. Are we done with this unnecessary recap?”

“You’re so kind,” Roman groused.

Deceit licked his lips and leaned closer to him, purring warm breath into his ear. “Sarcasm is a good look on you, my prince.”

If this was what dying felt like, Roman was more than okay with it.

“Come on, Kiddo!” Patton shot him puppy dog eyes.

“I don’t- I…” Virgil threw up his hands. “Ugh, fine. We’re snuggling with a snake. Wonderful.”

“Just get over here, Ta-morose-a.” Roman rested the back of his head in the crook of Deceit’s neck, sighing.

“I loathe you,” Virgil muttered, pressing himself against Deceit’s side, hip to shoulder.

“The feeling is quite mutual.” Deceit looped an arm around his waist.

“Uh, Dee?” Patton giggled nervously as the cloak shifted, threatening to permit icy air. “I think it’s a bit too small to help now.”

“Oh, is it?” Deceit blinked innocently, the effect somewhat ruined by the mischievous smile curling the edge of his mouth. “I hadn’t noticed.” He hooked his fingers through Patton’s belt loops and tugged him closer. “Guess we’ll have to make do.”

Patton made a noise very much like his soul was leaving his body.

“See, now, was all this drama quite necessary?” Logan sniffed, putting his nose in the air. “Simple physical contact is quite sufficient to mitigate the untimely chill. It’s clinical, effectual, and, above all else, logical.”

“Uh-huh… then why are you holding my hand?” Patton asked.

Logan cleared his throat and made a movement, as if to adjust his glasses, before he realized his arms were safe within the cloak and at jeopardy outside.

“An extra degree of insulation,” he said stiffly.

“Then why are you holding _my_ hand?” Roman echoed.

Logan looked at the ceiling and tried to will an asteroid strike into existence. “The same reason.”

“Wait, then who’s holding _my_ hand?” Virgil demanded.

Deceit smirked. “No idea, I’m sure.”

Virgil made a noise of disgust and lunged away, pulling the rest of the sides down with him. They landed, sprawled on the couch in a tangle of limbs.

“My goodness, Logan.” Roman lidded his eyes, pressing closer. “I had no idea you were so forward.”

Patton whistled innocently.

“I can totally breathe,” Deceit wheezed.

With a moderate amount of shuffling and a startled cry of ‘wait, Patton?!’, the sides-cape-burrito managed to ensure no one was being too terribly squished. Heat flowed between them in their little sanctuary, shielded from the world outside.

“‘M still not happy about this,” Virgil murmured, dozing against Deceit’s chest.

The other side pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Why would you be?”

Patton smiled softly, looking at the other four. “I can think of a few reasons.”

They all laid there together, wrapped in Deceit’s cape, bickering gently and hiding smiles.

If, perhaps, one of them realized it was warm enough by now to move away, none of them brought it up.

**Author's Note:**

> We can blame @residentanchor on tumblr for sending me [this](https://impatentpending.tumblr.com/post/186082487125/deceit-sharing-his-cape-to-keep-other-sides-warm) ask.
> 
> Thank you to all of my lovely readers! I especially adore those of you who leave kudos, bookmark, and, my favorite people ever: comment!
> 
> freeze me if you see a typo, cowards


End file.
